id be glad to
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
