my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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