"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
