is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
