ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm really busy with my period
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