What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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