There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
