rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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