If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
