Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize
