Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
