The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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