I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
