The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
