I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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