We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
