Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I smell stomach acid.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
