she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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