I wanna passion pit in your ass
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
