We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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