I accidentally burped into my bong.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
