I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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