I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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