sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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