I just cut my nipple shaving
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
