ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
