just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
