areolas are like halos for boobs.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
the raccoons are back...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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