The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
