She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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