Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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