halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
