saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I forgot how hot balto sounded
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
