im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
All the doctor said was why
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
