Me too!
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
