worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
