That's when you crack a 10am beer
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
