The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
