i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
