It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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