Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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