dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
