He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
