no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
