There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
