absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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