He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I think people are normalizing furries
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
