I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
smell my finger.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
