you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
