whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
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