If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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