Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
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