I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
