Porn is love you can see.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
